The Spiral
Depression! WHY! Can’t it just go away? Why does it even have to be a part of life. Where does it come from? The feeling of hopelessness and gut wrenching, horrible, bottomless darkness pushing deep into your ‘Pain Soul’. Not able to awake from bed to start a day; Not be able to sleep….The evening turning into night with fear from the tasks that seem impossible to tackle the following day. Avoiding any commuincation with our piers, family, and work folks. The anxious thoughts that will not allow the mind to shut off. Sweat flashes of fear filled thoughts about facing the next day. No energy. No drive. It’s a task to turn on the light or open the blinds for sunlight. It can last a day or 2 at times. Depression does not care what color, religion, or location; we all have the same souls and feelings. I can imagine it could last weeks, months and possibly years which is ‘Time’ and our/your valuable time for that matter. Depresion is the opposite of time, it’s the black hole of ‘Time’. Making choices has become difficult in present days, with so much turmoil, hate, deciet, lying and fighting in the world makes us feel like collapsing when time to make decisions. Or maybe we don’t make decisions because of the fear to dissapoint somebody. Maybe you are in the middle of a life situation whether between two people or groups. For example, can you imagine how children in split households can feel. It’s got to be an awful struggle daily. In innocent child stuck in the middle with the feeling nothing can be done right. I can assume this happens frequently and with a proclivity to lead to further long term depression. As a parent it twists your gut into so much pain, for which we could be the cause of this situation.
Of course the spiral can be self induced by Ms. ‘Hangover’ at times. She can be a rough one. She doesnt help the underlying issues that already may exist but compounds depression even worse. Regardless, it happens and is a part of us all at one point or another. We hide it! Keep it locked away for no one to see; it’s the hole in our hearts and souls which we feel so ugly and if anyone sees this monster, banishment is evident, or at least we feel that way. Are these real thoughts we ask ourselves? It can’t be real. Can it? Wait, tomorrow didn’t happen yet. It’s an emotion, right. Emotions aren’t living. Only if we let them. We still have the capability to make choices, even though they may be more difficult. Especailly with an emotion, is it possible to control it? I am sure there are mulitple levels of depression and dont want to offend anyone with basic assumptions on how to heal. I just want to share what could be and open up a dialogue to letting the pain go and discuss instead of hide in our dark shadows we all have at times. Some more than others. And some seeminlgy perminant. So let’s try to ‘accept it’ at face value as its at the bottom anyhow. Who cares. ‘Accept it’. “You cant kill me, if I am already dead". A saying I heard in the past that always resonated with me. So who gives a shit. Try to accept, TRY. No reason not to ‘accept’ the fact that it’s an internal self made up emotion. No arguing depression isn’t a very serious and real conditon. That is not debatable. Its seems to be spreading like a virus in society today. So ‘Accept’ and take a step out the bedroom. Hell, take a step out of the house. If you can or want to…shop, golf, work, start a business, skydive, pick something you always wanted to try. Every minute is unwritten. Accept what we did to ourselves and the ‘Thief’ that stole our time and relationships. Shamed enough by ourselves. ‘Accept’ it. We are the ones that fed it. In our own damn home! This ‘thief’ of time and dignity. Notice the past tense wording used, as ‘Accepting’ it is in the past. The feeling at the bottom and the emotion is not living, so it can be helpful by writing, thinking, talking, in past tense. Think Acceptance, think of the past tense of the thief of life. Stop putting the food at the table for this asshole to eat. Maybe the thief is disguised as a person that has wronged you in the past and now they are gone. We all know how we dealt with those people. So if we can cancel a person, how is not possible to repudiate an ‘emotional life threatening thief’; even just writing it helped put shoes on my feet. Problem is the laundry isn’t done and I have to febreaze my socks, so my stank ass feet doesnt, stank bomb the hot girl I sit next to in Science class. A chuckle was the intent there. Feeding the ‘thief’ in our own home reminds me of an old saying I found somewhere on the road of my past. An unknown author for that matter. Maybe by sharing this on THP the author will share more or reveal themselves. IF not, Discretion is fine as well.
SO, as by having the mindset to ‘Accept’ the pain, the hurt, the past, the scars, the bad decisions; we now can ‘Accept’ the force within to turn the steering wheel from our downward spiral into oncoming traffic….Instead accelrate yourself in the upward spiral into the distant sunrise, pulling far away as we can from the darkness. I promise, try it, think it. ‘Accept it’. Read this over, how ever many times. Pick another reading, quote, book, or movie that personally touched you through the years. Of course, it’s a constant fight but why the hell not try. Anything worth anything in this world, we know wasn’t easy to attain and had to fight for. Especially the ones we love. Why not fight for the ones we care about and love, moreover fight for the love of ourselves. Our lives, friends, families, people, are gifts that we can’t put a price tag on. Start with minutes, then hours, days. Go from there. Even if you get back a small part of your day which has been stolen is worth it. Even minutes are worth the world around us. So take a mental note or write it down. Speak it in your phone. By ‘Accepting’ and thinking past tense, starve the the thief…. I can promise your feeling will go from drowning at the bottom of a lake, to seeing thousands of bubbles floating upward toward the surface, This is our oxygen source for another breathe of air. With your hands reaching upward under water for another breathe… Now you start to see the rays of sun light at the top of the water. The Bubbles are HOPE and HOPE is real! Hope exists! Believe it! And the Sunlight is your strength to ‘Accept’ and kill the thief by starvation. Bubbles get bigger, and the sun gets warmer, as we slowly near the waters surface. Now your curiosity kicks in and wonder ‘what is up there at the suface’? Endless air? Happiness? a new friend, forgiveness, our family? All we know its warmer and we can breathe. It starts to feel amazing. Before the darkness comes back and the oxygen depetes, reach out while you can to someone you know will not judge you. Take the moment to make a call or text. Find out what it would be like to be there. So dream big because anything you put your mind to, you will do. We just need to feed Hope and Strength. It’s really all about the present moment, accept the past. It’s the freedom to think positively ahead for even just a few minutes. Its a life changer. Be your own time machine.
When i am down, I love watchig the movie “Pursuit of Happiness” A true story of Chris Gardner. His wife leaves him and his 5 year old son. Chris gets evicted, goes from sleeping in San Francisco subway bathrooms amongst many trial and tribulations, into a ‘Prestigous Stock Broker’ which eventually started his own brokerage firm. This occured in a relitively short amount of time in retrospect to a typical lifetime. Granted it seemed Chris had a long struggle before his wife left. Although at the moment, life seemed unbearable, he was able to hold on to his son which was his hope and love, and removed the toxic negativity in his wifes soul which cleared his way to see sunlight. As glimpse as it may have been at that moment, he found it within him to ‘Accept’ and take the oxygen and sunlight driving him to reach his capabilites which he new existed within himself. No matter how dim the light was. He found a way to see it.
His wife seemingly was over taken by the thief of depression which she fed and couldn’t turn around. So that year or so, of perserverence, effort, Integrity; never letting the bridge of troubled water collapse. He was able to repair and adjust his mind from past thief by ‘accepting’ his current present moment keeping the momentum moving foward breathing bubbles,never giving up following the warmth of the sun. Which is Ironic consideirng I refer to ‘time’/machines throughout THP, Chris Gardener pretends his portable Xray machine, which he struggles to sell, as a creative game to help keep his sons mind get preoccupied of where they were and to accept sleeping where they had to as they were homeless. Check out the clips.
Another Example that has been very succesful on many levels with lifes hardships and painful moments is the Serenity Pray. I dont care what religion you practice, don’t practice, or if your an athiest. This is a cool and mindblowing prayer that works wonders in dependency programs. And should relate to any human on earth.
One little tactic and habit that can help get some light and oxygen in our lives is to take the oppurtunity to get your blood moving. It is not healthy to do as little as possible which turns blood into concete so to speak. I have worked out all my life and it has kept me balanced from going into a long term downward spiral into the upward spiral. They call it the runners high. It really does work. Whether its a walk, trot, run, weights, yoga, Broga, Boxing; excersise will move your blood in your viens, sending your mindset into the oxygen and light stage. Yes, it can be very hard to initiate but when we do, it is therapeutic and changes a questionable mood into a day of possibilties and imagination. Even if you went to bed the night before with Ms. Hangover. It destroys her and damages the thief of time at least for the moment.
Another tactic when reaching for oxygen and sublight, is to confide with a truly emapthatic friend, family member, or counselor/psychatrist. It is critical to make sure the person you are confiding with can be trusted. Otherwise, your timeline could be in jeapordy. People can be very depceptive and manipulative. So watch yourself especially during the volitile moments of Air & Light. We don’t want to shut these moments out before we get a chance to start seeing upward.
Now let’s look at another perspective. So what if we didn’t feel and had no emotion or sadness. Depression wouldn’t exist? What would that make us? Souless, right. We would be like a robot without any human connections or emotional ties. So having these sad feelings makes us human and actually an empathetic person at that. We are actually the people we want to be surrounded by. We care for others and ourselves. The trick is to find a way to re-program the thought process of love and caring. It was said somewhere in the past that habits can be broken or started in 21 days. Whether its quitting a bad habit or starting healthy ones. Think of this sad state as an oppurtunity for ourselves to re-program our habits. So feel, Cry, scream, let it out. Cry alone or with your select trust group you open up to. Release it. Everyday or hour if need be. It’s OK to be human and feel. Pain will not go away if we supress it. So many dismiss thier emotions by deflection or with alcohol and drugs, which compounds the problem. Therefore think… before you make more bad habits, first work on the good habits… accepting, ‘feeling and dealing’, opening up, working out. Think of the ‘feeling supression’ as the food that feeds the thief we spoke off. Process your thoughts and the pain will subside in time closing the blackhole of the downward spiral.
Lastly, let’s take a look at the media and social platforms. This could be the wizard behind the curtains that dictates what direction our moods and emotions will turn. Media and technology are pevalant and constanlty in front of our faces which causes addictions we havent been able to put a finger on it just yet. Social platforms have made the world a much more dangeraous place than helpful. I suggest reading the part on ‘Youth electronics managment, the Dehumization of Society’ ‘ So please try to take parts of the day and turn devices off, put it down, your time is much more important to live than to have our souls hijacked. So think about it, why do you want to dive your soul and depth into a negative, possibly, scary dark situation? These news anchors, actors, influncers arent to be trusted. It’s a swamp for biased narccistic journalists with a goal to divide us into hateful patterns?
So let’s take a quick snapshot of what we discussed:
Accept Don’t Deflect
Move your Blood-Workout
Confide and talk with whom you trust
Sustain from social networking & media
When u have a bad day! Tomorrow is another day. Let’s move on.
