The Humble Woman

Have you ever had a debate about men and women being equal? Do some women resent men? Do some men think they are superior to women? Do some men resent women who have become more successful, more influential, or earn more money than they do?

These questions have existed for generations.

Have you ever thought about what women have endured throughout history and what they still contend with today? Yes, women have come a long way since gaining the right to vote in America, but the journey has not been easy, and it is far from complete. Women have spent centuries fighting for opportunities that many men simply took for granted. Sometimes I wonder why more men do not acknowledge the facts of history and show a little empathy. For much of human existence, women had fewer rights, fewer opportunities, and less control over their own futures. They were expected to sacrifice, support, endure, and persevere without complaint.

Men and women are different. Equality should not require pretending otherwise. Comparing men and women is not always an apples-to-apples comparison. It is more like comparing apples and oranges. Each possesses unique strengths, abilities, and contributions. Those differences should never be used to diminish one another but rather to appreciate what each brings to society. Women have proven throughout history that they are every bit as determined, resilient, intelligent, and capable as men. In many cases, they simply had to work twice as hard to receive half the recognition.

If we look back through history, we often picture primitive societies where brute strength ruled. Whether it was literally being dragged into a cave or living under systems where women had little say in their own lives, the reality is that women have spent much of human history fighting uphill battles. They endured abuse, mistreatment, humiliation, restrictions, and limitations that most modern people would find unacceptable. Yet somehow they persevered. That may be one of the greatest success stories in human history.

Coming from the power industry, I have witnessed countless examples of women quietly carrying responsibilities that few people ever see. During major maintenance outages at power plants, workers often spend weeks and months working brutal schedules. Twelve-hour shifts become normal. Six and seven day work weeks become routine. Family events are missed. Holidays are missed. Time with children becomes scarce. While many men receive praise for the work they do during those outages, there is another group making sacrifices that often go unnoticed.

One story that has always stayed with me is that of a gentleman from Palo Verde Nuclear Generating Station. We will call him Mr. Neutron and his wife Mrs. Nucleus. Mr. Neutron began working at Palo Verde when he was nineteen years old. Shortly afterward he met the woman who would become his wife. Together they built a family and raised three boys.

Like many people in the nuclear industry, Mr. Neutron spent much of his career working long hours. During outage seasons, most of his waking hours were spent inside the plant. While he was helping keep one of America's most important power stations running safely, someone else was carrying the load at home.

That someone was Mrs. Neutron

Together they raised three remarkable sons. One became a doctor. Another became a nationally recognized CrossFit athlete. The youngest became a firefighter serving the Phoenix community. When I speak with Mr. Neutron about his family's success, he never takes the credit for himself. He immediately points to his wife. He describes her as the constant variable, the glue, the foundation, the nucleus that held everything together. While he was working overtime, she was raising boys into men. While he was helping power cities, she was helping shape lives. To this day he speaks of her with admiration, gratitude, and respect. In his eyes, she deserves most of the credit.

That story is not unique. I have heard versions of it repeatedly throughout my career. The power industry is filled with wives who sacrifice family time, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and countless evenings alone while their husbands work long hours to provide for their families. These women rarely ask for recognition. They simply do what needs to be done.

Military wives deserve equal recognition. One of my work associates has a daughter named Brook. Her husband serves in the military and can be deployed for long periods of time. Imagine being a young mother raising a small child while your spouse is thousands of miles away in potentially dangerous situations. Imagine not hearing from them for weeks at a time and wondering every day whether they are safe. Think about the pit in her stomach when she watches the news. Think about the burden of carrying all the responsibilities of parenthood while also carrying the emotional weight of fear and uncertainty.

My sister-in-law Hilary is another example of what I call a humble woman. She raised three boys who have all become successful young men. Her oldest son became an electrician and later returned to school to pursue agriculture studies at South Dakota State University. Her younger two sons earned wrestling scholarships and ranked among some of the top wrestlers in the nation. Those accomplishments did not happen by accident. Behind every successful child is usually someone making sacrifices nobody sees. In many cases, that person is their mother.

Women perform these small miracles every day.

Then there are the single mothers. How does a woman raise children largely by herself? How does she work, pay bills, attend school functions, comfort fears, provide discipline, and still find enough strength to keep going? Money helps, but money does not replace presence. Too often fathers disappear emotionally, physically, or financially. When that happens, mothers frequently become everything. They become the provider, protector, teacher, counselor, nurse, chauffeur, and emotional anchor all at once.

I do not know if it is instinct, faith, love, determination, or some combination of all four. What I do know is that many women rise to the occasion when others walk away. When life places a child in their arms, they choose responsibility over excuses. They choose sacrifice over selfishness. They choose love over convenience.

Another topic that always seems to generate discussion is money and relationships. The phrase "gold digger" gets thrown around constantly. Of course those situations exist. Human beings are imperfect. Men and women alike sometimes make selfish choices. But that stereotype does not define most women.

In my experience, most women are looking for something much deeper. They want love. They want security. They want trust, communication, compassion, and honesty. A woman would often rather live in a small home filled with genuine love than in a mansion filled with loneliness and artificial affection. Financial security matters, but emotional security matters too. A woman wants to know that when life becomes difficult, she will not be facing those struggles alone.

Now let us discuss a modern issue that many women feel strongly about. Women have spent generations fighting for equal opportunities in education, employment, athletics, and public life. That progress deserves respect and protection. Because of that history, many women have concerns regarding female sports, locker rooms, bathrooms, and other private spaces.

This is not about hating anyone. Every person deserves dignity and respect. However, women also deserve dignity, fairness, privacy, and safety. Many women feel that biological females should have meaningful input into decisions affecting female athletic competition and female spaces. They believe opportunities fought for over generations should remain protected. Whether someone agrees or disagrees with that position, it is important that women are heard rather than dismissed. A society that values women should not be afraid to listen to women's concerns.

The goal should not be division. The goal should be fairness, compassion, and common sense for everyone involved.

At the end of the day, this chapter is not really about politics. It is about women.

The humble woman does not ask for worship. She asks for respect. She asks to be seen. She asks to be valued. She asks for safety, opportunity, appreciation, and fairness. She asks for the chance to build a better future for her children, her family, and her community.

And if history has taught us anything, it is that women have earned that respect many times over.

Behind countless successful children, successful men, successful businesses, successful communities, and successful nations stands a woman whose sacrifices helped make it all possible. She may never seek credit. She may never demand recognition. She may never stand in the spotlight.

But make no mistake.

She is one of the strongest forces humanity has ever known.

She is the humble woman.